I just woke up from one of the most disturbing nightmares I've ever experienced. Too messed up to be posted. The last time I looked at the clock it was 10:23, and it is now12:01. It feels as though it should be two or three in the morning, but instead I wake up just over an hour after I fall asleep. And now I'm afraid to go back to sleep. So instead I'm lying here, watching A Knight's Tale {understood to be my bedtime movie} and feeling a little nauseous.
Last night I had a pretty wild dream too, but in an entirely different way.
At the beginning of the dream I was walking through a cake shop in New York City and glancing around at all the wedding cakes on display. Some were huge four of five tiered cakes, but there was a selection of small ones, and as I looked at those cakes, I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the display glass. I was decked out in the wedding gown of my dreams and looked like a bride. I recognized that as a sign and bolted out of there, to return to New Hampshire {or New York} and convince my ex to marry me, right then. He agreed without hesitation and together we return to New York City and picked out a small cake and then went to city hall to be married. After presumably doing so, we emerged from the building, he in a tux, and I in my gown, and there was rice flying and we both smiled intensely. Then, fore some reason, there was a photobooth, and we decided to get pictures done. So we climb into the booth and take picture after picture. Then, I go to kiss him, and our lips lock and it's the most incredible kiss of my whole life. I never wanted to let go. I then tell him that I want to do poses {i.e., the proposal, etc.} to which he agrees, and then I tell him that these would be like our save-the-dates, only not the save-the-dates, but the "hey-we-got-married" cards. And then, while I'm sitting there, I wonder if perhaps I'd been too hasty. Perhaps I settled. Perhaps I just got lonely and wanted someone to be with and I knew he wouldn't say no so I chose him, but now if prince charming comes along, I'll be married, because I can't get a divorce. So in the midst of my panic, I wake up, and it's 9:15am, and it's time to get ready for church.
I don't really know what to do with that. All the other dreams that I've had where we get engaged or married, there's no joy, and lots of regret. I'm just not sure. Blech and then I have this terrible nightmare. Goodness.
Well I wish you all sweet dreams. May you all be married to Ben Affleck and Brad Pitt, or what have you. For me, Orlando Bloom, Heath Ledger, or Hugh Grant (don't ask why) would be ideal. I'm going to try to dream about them this time around.

Regardless of what people say, he's my soul mate. Age difference, aside.

His sense of humor and accent are both very attractive.

Heath Ledger, may he rest in peace. He never had the opportunity to know me.

British men have weird names.
Up for class in six and a half hours.

The Horrifying Dream I Had (And other interesting things)

Not last night, but the night before, I lay down to go to bed, which I do so successfully after about an hour (I can never get to sleep. these beds are like boards) and somewhere around 5 have this horrible nightmare:
It's as though I'm watching a movie, so I'm just an onlooker, but there is this man who has recently been diagnosed with bipolar or something and he is having a manic episode. His son and daughter or his son and his son's girlfriend are sitting in the car, both in the front seat. The father climbs in the back seat and violently stabs through the back of the drivers seat (where his son is sitting) with a knife that is appx. 12 inches with a serrated blade. The son sits there, in the front seat, slowly dying, and urges his sister or girlfriend to get out, run away, when the father stabs her through the seat too. She dies instantly. Then, the son pulls his own knife (out of NOWHERE) and reaches into the back seat to kill his father. After completing the task, I actually SEE the life go out of his eyes.
So that was that. Needless to say, when I awoke from that dream at about 5 am I experienced some difficulty going back to sleep. I turn on Otto Koning's The Pineapple Series, which is a series of sermons, and begin to browse through the hulu TV shows. However, the website greets me with the lovely picture of  a masked man and the introduction of something to do with Halloween. So I lay in my bed, paralyzed, until about 6, when I fell back asleep until 9, and got up and went to the gym. Hurrah.

So today I was stumbled upon this blog, and a post about the most awesome photos of soldiers, taken by soldiers. Something about men in uniform makes my heart shake a little and my stomach do a flip. Pearl Harbor kind of did me in, with that. Danny (Josh Hartnett) looking so sad when his best friend and childhood hero went off to Britain, his righteous anger. His heartwrenching attractiveness. Anyway, I found these pictures, look at them if you get a sec.
They're pictures of British soldiers, but hey, still cool.
Enjoy the rest of your wonderfully fall-esque day.