Jesus plus Nothing equals Everything

This is the book I've been reading recently, entitled Jesus + Nothing = Everything, by Tullian Tchividjian.

I want to share a few quotes and a few reflections from the book.

"In his grace, he won't play hide-and-seek with you. In your weakness and weariness, cry out to him. he will find you, and He will be your rock."{Paul David Tripp

"If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world." {C.S. Lewis}

"'I'm looking to something or someone smaller than Jesus to be what only Jesus can be for me.'" {Tullian Tchividjian}

"Whatever your heart clings to and confides in, that is really your God." {Martin Luther}

"Our rules become our substitute savior." {Tullian Tchividjian}

"The gospel is...for those who long to be freed from the slavery of believing that all of their significance, meaning, purpose, and security depend on our ability to 'become a better you."

"Is there any meaning in my life that the inevitable death awaiting me does not destroy?" {Leo Tolstoy}

"Only inside clean-up leads to outside clean-up." {Tullian Tchividjian}

I've reflected a lot over the past year on my tendency to want to perfect myself--convincing myself that if I work harder, I can be better, and once I'm better, I'll be happy. What I'm understanding is that the mental list of changes I need to make to myself is useless and unrealistic. It's something that I shouldn't even be expecting myself to consult as a measurement of progress. I've been looking to my own ability to change and be better, pretending that Grace doesn't exist. I'm not sure what to do with that. I don't believe that I should stop trying to overcome the things I want to overcome, but I need to recognize that there is NOT a place in my life for perfection of myself, and the only time I'll ever appear faultless is on judgement day, when God sees Christ instead of me.

After 10 years of "walking the walk", I'm finally understanding what this all means. 

Psalm 91

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most Hight will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust."
Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare and from the deadly pestilence.
He will cover you with his feathers and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that fliess by day,
nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday.
A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you.
You will only observe with your eyes and see the punishment of the wicked.
If you make the Most High your dwelling--even the Lord, who is my refuge--
Then no harm will befall you, no disaster will come near your tent.
For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways;
They will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
You will tread upon the lion and the cobra; yo will trample the great lion and the serpent.
"Because he loves me," says the Lord, "I will rescue him; I will protect him for he acknowledges my name. He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him.
With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation."

Good one, God

If there was ever any debate about whether or not God has an impecable sense of humor, take a magnifying glass to my life and there's your evidence.
Now, I just got out of a relationship. A good one, mind you, so while I'm still harboring feelings for him, they're not negative, and I'm not experiencing any aversion to men or anything like that. So there are two that I find relatively attractive.
Thinking about this, it's weird for me. Never have I been even relatively interested in two guys at the same time. Well I guess "interested in" is too specific a term. In fact, I'm not interested in either, would not expect anything from whatever you might call what this is, but lets call it a crush for now. If I want to feel like a twelve year old.
Any way, yesterday, on my way back from the gym, my roommate and I stopped at the dining hall so we could get milk for our cereal. I'm there in my hideous gym clothes and my frizzy hair and my face with makeup smeared around like paint. And of course, there he is. He who shall go unnamed for sake of anonymity. And what's more, he sees me. Of course he sees me. Because it's funny that he should. So he smiles and waves and I almost melt because I am completely undeserving of his notice, and my wonderful roommate looks at me and basically screams "awwwww that's so presh." Well, thanks Liz. He probably heard you. So good, happens to everyone, right?
Now the second of these two gentlemen has caused me a great deal of anxiety for varied reasons over the past month, and I have been holding something against him for a week now. A grudge of sorts, although I don't really think that I hold grudges. Not legitimate ones. But basically, I've been angry with him for about a week. We won't get into the why of the matter, but there it is.
And today, of course, God decides to play a joke on me. So I'm sitting at dinner, shoving my face with a very messy meal that I constructed myself, I'm a mess of marinara and cheese, and who should come up to me but this young man, who we'll call subject number two. I've mentioned him in a previous post or two. And does he say hello? No, instead he walks up behind me and holds my head in his hand and says "Aww that's so cute! You're so cute!" And kisses me on the top of the head.
First of all: What?
Next: Really?
And my roommate asks him to sit down. Thanks Liz. And now here I am, sitting across from him with marinara sauce practically running down my face while he talks about thanksgiving and what not, and I'm stuttering and stammering, unable to think of the right thing to say {which certainly is not unusual for me} and he's just sitting there, more chipper than usual. Wonderful.
So now, how can you be angry at someone after that? Wish I could be, but I just can't. I guess it's a lesson. When I figure out what kind of lesson, I'll let you know {I probably won't, don't get your hopes up}.

Also, my room smells like garbage.
Enjoy your evening.


Note: I hope you don't find me a blasphemer. I really think God does have a sense of humor, and I'm not bitter about these experiences but find them completely ridiculous, albeit somewhat unfortunate.