I just need to get this out of my head

The internship I so desperately wanted turned me down, and now I'm going to make a pros list so that I don't feel so sucky about it.

Pros:

I don't have to buy my own groceries this summer.
I can spend time at home,with mommy.
I'll be able to see Aubrey this summer (crazy amounts of pro, here).
I can possibly be a camp counselor which will also help my relationship with God, I expect, as well as making connections.
I can go to my home church.
I'll be close to people I know.
Teebs won't be the only one not on campus this summer.
Less massachusetts (I'm sorry, ALWAYS a good thing.)


Thats all I can think of right now. So I'm still kind of bummin, but I guess I'll power through.

Books I've Read

Oh dear, oh dear. I can't recall every book I've read in my lifetime! Especially those I read when I was still a wee little girl, because who can remember all the copious amounts of children's books that their parents read to them when they were children.
But when I was really little, my favorite books were.... one about an elephant, like... no more elephants or something like that, and something about a little kid who just said no all the time. I loved that one.
But then I started reading the American Girl Doll books when I was a kid, and then the other books written by the American Girl people, which were mysteries. Loved those. My favorite book in later elementary school and early middle school was The Wanderer (I think it was called) and Fever 1793 (which I still LOVE). Then when I got into high school, I read lots of books for school. In ninth grade, I read a ton of boring books that I hated (HIROSHIMA KILL ME PLEASE) but I also read Night, by Elie Weisle (spell check?) and the Hobbit. We read Watership down but I wasn't a huge fan of that one. The summer of 10th grade we read....Siddhartha (about buddhism) Anthem (SO GOOD) and...

Things.
Fall.
Apart.
Honestly, book changed my life.
Made me hate reading.

Book about nothing. So... awful.

And then in 10th grade, it was the year of wonderful books in Lit class.
We read:
To Kill a Mocking Bird
1984
Farenheit 451
Lord of the Flies
Hamlet
and a couple others that I must not have enjoyed as much.
Oh!
We read Oedipus Rex trilogy, my favorite being Antigone.

In eleventh grade we suffered a bit more. We had to read The Scarlet Letter, Waldon (Walton?), Ethan Frome, Grapes of Wrath, and a couple others that killed me slowly. And that class was difficult because I very nearly NEVER read these books. I read half of Grapes of Wrath, but it turns out that it's a 500 page book about the great depression and the dust bowl which was a bummer.
Oh! We read the Crucible by Arthur Miller. That was a gooooood one.
Then the summer before 12th grade we read The Awakening by Kate Chopin, Tess of the D'Urbervilles, and the Color Purple, all of which I enjoyed. Except I didn't finish Tess because I ran out of time. Then we read:
The Stranger
Heart of Darkness
Their Eyes Were Watching God
Gulliver's Travels

and a few others. Oh!
Macbeth! I LOVED Macbeth. I have a huge thing for Shakespeare.

And then I didn't read for leisure AT ALL because public education killed it for me. Freshman year I read a few books in Great Conversation, then I read most of Persuasion (?), O Pioneers! Elegance of the Hedgehog, The Purple Hibiscus, Interpreter of Maladies... and one other book whose title escapes me at the moment. There might have been a couple others but I can't really remember right now.
And in Nobel Lit right now I've read:
Old Man and the Sea
The Land of the Green Plums
The Pickup
Death and the Kings Horseman
The Birthday Party

and then some books for other classes that I all but threw in a garbage disposal. Bleh.

And I've read the first Harry Potter and a half, and Message in a Bottle, the Notebook, and the Lucky One, all by Nicholas Sparks.
Hopefully I'll do a bit more leisure reading over christmas break.

PS

The Next entry to my positive thoughts log will be written to you from the comfort of my own home! {HURRAH!}

Wish me luck on taking exams on the books which I haven't read!

Places I want to go

Well, who doesn't want to go to Europe.

I have this dream of hoppin on a plane and flying to Ireland, doing Ireland and Scotland, and then catching a boat over the the UK, and seeing England and Wales, and then hopping on another boat and seeing France and Germany and Spain and Italy and Poland and Greece... It would take some time, but but how amazing would it be? Honestly.
I've always wanted to go to Australia, too, and Africa.
Uganda, Ethiopia, Sudan. I'd love to do some missions work or social justice work over there. Oh man, give me my passport and a plane ticket and I'd be gone.

Places I Have Been

Oooh, I like this one. I love talking about my travels. Great fun.

Well, I was born in Wyoming and then moved to England, which you may know from my about me {I'm kind of proud of that. How many New Hampshirites can say that?} but I guess that may not really count because I don't really remember either of those places. Actually, I don't remember those places at all. So chronologically, the places I remember:

When I was 5 I flew into Georgia and saw my aunt, uncle, cousins, and Dad, who drove me to Florida to see my Grandparents, stepmom, and little sister. That was the first time I met any of them since I was 2 years old.

When I was 9 I went to visit my dad in the Azores, Portugal.

I was in Terceira, where my Dad was stationed, and I went to Santa Maria for a layover.

When I was 10 I went to New York City for the first time and had all sorts of fun adventures with my mom, stepdad, and older brother. Never will I share those pictures though. It's a tad bit too humiliating.

When I was 11, I guess, I went to North Carolina for the first time, to visit my mom's best friend.

When I was in 7th grade I went to North Carolina again, to visit my dad and my mom's best friend. I was all over that state during that visit. We drove to North Carolina so it was a long 21 hour trip and we drove through a TON of states. 

I think in 7th Grade was the first time we took a ski trip, and we went to Canada. I almost died. NBD.

In 8th Grade I took a wonderful field trip to Washington DC, tons of fun, lots of sights that I saw, my favorites being the Holocaust Museum and the changing of the guard at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier.

I'm pretty sure we went to Canada again in 8th Grade, which was much more fun this time.

In 9th Grade I went to Texas, to visit my dad once again. Went to the Alamo, the Riverwalk, Sea World {I got this close to a dolphin. very cool.}

In 10th grade we went on a trip to Sunapee or Sunday River {I can't remember which} and watched the Patriots finish off a great season with a terrible game. It hurts to think about it.

In 11th Grade I went to Honduras on a missions trip, to Siguatepeque.

It's sort of hard to see, but I think we flew into San Pedro Sula, and then drove to Siguatepeque, where we stayed.

That was one of the best trips of my life, I think. I really enjoyed it.

Then I went back to North Carolina in 11th grade to visit my Dad again, and went to the ocean.

And then in 12th grade my class went to Old Orchard Beach. Haven't traveled much since I started school, but I'm going to the Dominican Republic in March, and possibly New Jersey in January. We'll see.

Oh yeah, guys, I'M GOING TO THE DR! {whoop whoop!}

Feliz lunes!

Things I'm Grateful For

This is the second post in that series of posts I'm doing. So happy monday all, and since it's thanksgiving time you should all be thinking about the wonderful things you're thankful for.
I was supposed to do this last monday but I was in a pretty terrible mood then and I couldn't bring myself to count my blessings. I know, how terrible, but we're playing catch-up now so I may just do two of these posts tonight.
So, things I'm grateful for.

1. My education here at Gordon. It's really a blessing and miracle that I'm here in the first place.
2. My three jobs, all of which are neccessary to my livelihood as I have a spending problem.
3. My familia, I love them all. 
4. My mom, so grateful for her. She's talked me off a ledge many many times.
5. My wonderful friends, all of whom I've gotten to see in the past week. {Well, not all of them, and I did see some that I didn't particularly want to see, but c'est la vie.}
6. My pastor, who happens to care about me more than I thought, or at least is much more capable of fulfilling his pastorly roles than I thought he was.
7. BED TIME. I think I thank God for this every night. "Dear God, thank you for this day, for everything you've given me, for this wonderful bed." Errnight.
8. That I don't really lack anything. Nothing I need, anyway. That's worth being thankful for.
9. For my God. I don't really thank Him for Him very often and I really should. I should also really thank Him more often for his son and that sacrifice he made. 
10. For the challenges in my life. You can't grow if you're never challenged, and I think I've grown a lot in the past few years. Gotta love those obstacles.
11. The support that I get from my family, even when I don't want it and don't ask for it. Sometimes I'm a little self centered I guess {oh gosh, I hope no one's reading this saying "you think?"}
12. The roommate I've been blessed with. A challenge, yes, but a welcome one. Never could I have asked for a roommate more entertaining, more fun, or better fit to what I need. Definitely don't plan on trading her in. 

The list doesn't end there, but that's all the thought I can put into this list right now. Onto the next.

People Who Inspire Me:

1. My mom {a lot}
2. Nate, my ex boyfriend and good friend
3. Katie, a good {maybe best} friend from home, who despite many strenuous circumstances, still has a sunny outlook on her present and future life.
4. Elise, another good friend from home who compromised friendships in the name of love, and ended up being right about it. She got her GED and is now working for the military. 20 years old, and a full-fledged adult. Very proud of her.
5. Chris. He's been through more than a person should be through and he's still hanging on, although sometimes just by the skin of his teeth.
6. Chuck, Chris' roommate. He's very optimistic and doesn't let little things get him down.
7. Sybil Coleman, a social work professor here. She's been through a lot too, but she clings to hope and faith in the Lord, and with His grace performs her job better than anyone I've known.
8. Sarah, my old RA. She just has this astounding faith that I really admire
9. Kerstin, her roommate, same reason. Both are really great people who, despite being utterly gorgeous, are very down-to-earth and humble.
10. Laura; she's struggled with a lot of the same things I have, but she doesn't let it control her life. She really gives me hope. 
11. Dilon; he only has one hand but is one of the best baseball players the school has seen.
12. Thia Howard: she's pretty much a walking miracle. After struggling with stage 4 melanoma, she's alive nine or ten years later to talk about it, is in full remission, and is doing remarkably well.
13. Pastor Steve and his wife, who are both struggling with Lyme's disease, but are handling it with grace. 

Sorry to go all Tumblr on you, but...

I stumbled upon this lists of lists to make, and I think I might do one every day or ever week. Actually, every day sounds good. Mondays. {I'm counting today as monday parce-que I have not been to sleep yet.}


Here's the list:

List as many as you can:

1. People who have influenced or inspired you
2. Things you are grateful for
3. Places you have been
4. Places you want to go
5. Books you’ve read
6. Your favorite things – what brings you joy?
7. Good things that happened this week
8. The best things that happened in the last year
9. The best days of your life.
10. The songs for the soundtrack of your life
11. Acts of kindness you’ve committed
12. Things you want your children to know about you
13. Reasons why you love your significant other
14. The high points for your autobiography
15. People who love you
16. The cutest things your kids ever said
17. Everything you would do if money were no object
18. Favorite gifts you’ve ever received
19. Favorite gifts you’ve ever given
20. Occupations that you have ever wanted to have (including when you were a child)
21. The best advice you’ve gotten.
22. The worst advice you’ve gotten.
23. Things you’re procrastinating
24. Ways you calm yourself down when you’re angry.
25. The best ideas you’ve ever had
26. The best projects or organizations you’ve ever been involved with
27. The ways you have grown since your early 20’s
28. The most beautiful things you’ve ever seen
29. The greatest lessons you have learned
30. Life’s lessons that you learned the hard way
31. Things that have made you laugh until you cried
32. Qualities you most admire in others
33. Qualities others most admire in you
34. The elements of an ideal year
35. All the compliments you’ve ever gotten
36. Foods that you have eaten that are so good that others could hear you enjoying them
37. The times you have asserted yourself
38. Things that inspire and energize you
39. The places where you feel completely comfortable to be yourself
40. The most important turning points in your life
41. Times when you looked and felt your absolute best
42. The things you’re good at
43. What you would do with the power of invisibility
44. Things you want to teach your children
45. Things you still want to do in life
46. Bits of trivia that most people don’t know about you
47. The things you love about your body
48. Accomplishments you are most proud of
49. The things you love about your home
50. Who (living or dead) you would invite to your dream dinner party

I'll post my first response in another post. Enjoy!

Positive Thoughts {le neuf de Novembre, 2011}

Its hard to do this today, as I'm sitting here feeling unbearably overwhelmed, so I'm going to find things that dull that a little bit.
First of all, my friend is doing better this week than he says he was last week, and I'm having lunch with him friday. So that's a solid.
I get to go home on friday, where I'll be out of service for three days, and thus out of the line of fire.
Tomorrow I have a College Bound dinner at my intern's apartment, which I really think will be a lot of fun.  I love the people that I tutor with, and I think I'm on my way to forming some decent relationships.
I went on a Panera date with ms. liz {my roommate} which was really awesome.
I was able to find two books at the library that I think will be good for Mayli.
I discovered the prayer room and went there again today.
It was really nice out today, almost 60 degrees.
Three weeks until thanksgiving break.
My good friend Elise is coming back to the 603 on Sunday night for two weeks, so I'll be able to see her while she's home. It's awesome! I haven't seen her since January, so I'm really looking forward to that.
I only have one class tomorrow and then I have college bound.
Friday is omelet day.

Positive Thoughts {le 3 de novembre, 2011}

I've decided to begin a positive thoughts log.
Today, although not an excellent day, not one that surpassed expectations, did have good aspects, as every day "may not be good, but there is something good in every day."
Call me loco, but I know it's true, and I need to beat the negativity out of me.
So today.
I was able to play with babies all morning, very cute babies. One extraordinarily happy baby named Noah, who wouldn't stop smiling. Presh.
I got paid today, which is wonderful.
I got dunk's today, and had a glorious lunch of a turkey, cheddar, and bacon flat.
I was let out of spanish early today, by half an hour {win!}
I played sardines in college bound, which was fun.
I was able to carry a conversation with a couple of the other tutors today, which implies progress.
I spoke with Nate today and it didn't hurt all that much.
I ate dinner with Liz and had a good time.
I look halfway decent.
Positive thoughts for aujhord'hui.