Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength; they will soar on wings like eagles.
They will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Saturday, October 29, 2011

October in New England

It goes something like this: two or three weeks ago, close to 90 degrees outside. Last night, snow. Tomorrow night, 3-5 INCHES of SNOW. Ah, new england, no medication is strong enough to your height of bipolarity.
So this weekend is filled with lots of miscellaneousness. First thing tomorrow, I awake to go craft shopping and thrifting with the Sarahs, followed by some crafting (the construction of the invitations for Teebs birthday party) which simply THRILLS me. Then, there is the potential of some homework, as I have about 400 pages to read by next friday. At 5:30 I have a very nerve wracking meeting of a two year old and a three year old. Oh yeah, and their parents. That's right, Ke$h's officially a Gordon College babysitter. And for $30 a week, I have no complaints. So we'll see how that goes, but I'm pumped. I love the children. Then lets see, sunday I have church at the crack of dawn, and then I have studying and homeworking in the library until a reasonable hour to which I shall troll back to my room, across our forsaken campus, and sleep until 7ish on halloween to begin a glorious new week; the one which begins November. I'm very excited.
You see, the closer to november we get, the closer to thanksgiving (which I love), and then the closer to christmas which means a whole month off. Very exciting.
Anyhow, moving on.
The last couple of days have done me in. I'm not sure whats going on with me but I've been feeling quite inexplicably lonely and have slept we-hay-haaaay too much. For example, thursday I set my alarm for 8:45. The next thing I know, it's 11:15 and I have to get up to get ready for class. This morning, I set my alarm for 6:45 and didn't wake up until 9:15. Now, while I always love sleep, I missed two classes today and my guilt is radiating, even though I most likely did not miss anything important. Just the idea that I've gotten to that point that I miss class to sleep. It's just not me. I need to get my life together. Also, I've been really missing Nate the past couple of days. And not just "oh, I wish I had a boyfriend" kind of missing him, but "what if we were actually meant to be together?" kind of missing him. When I start to think that way I remind myself that if I really loved him I wouldn't have feelings for someone else, that I'm just longing for a relationship, that I spend a significant amount of time by myself at school and it gets lonely, and that it was comfortable. Then I remind myself that I don't want a relationship that's built just off of comfort, I don't want to settle, and that love needs to be passionate, abnormal, wonderful (if such a thing exists) to be lasting. Or whatever. I obviously don't know what I'm talking about, completely. I've just been thinking that nate is a really good guy and maybe I threw something away. But no.
So this is my self talk. Just a recap of the past couple of days. Sorry for exposing all of you to that. Oh, lets be real, there's none of you. It's just me who reads this. Oh well.
I hope you all have a magnificent weekend. I may or may not be back here tomorrow. We'll see.

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