Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength; they will soar on wings like eagles.
They will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

La La La I Have A Paper to Write

La la la la la ten pages and I have not yet begun. And tomorrow night is Elf night and I am very excited. And tonight I have a long evening of procrastinating ahead of me. How will I ever fit this paper-writing in?
Well, okay, write the paper I guess is the best idea. However, the roommate and I are watching SVU {or were watching SVU before she started watching a video about some beagles} and then there's dinner and then theres...probably more SVU and then theres the gym and then maybe I'll consider doing this paper.
Or like...after dinner and until the gym. That sounds a tad bit bettah. Apparently it does not take so long once you get started. Except for one girl who said that it takes a solid six or seven hours, but I choose to not believe her. Because I choose to believe that I can pull this paper out in like... four. If I put my mind to it. Which I fully intend to do.

Oh dear.

The Goods.


Welp, there it is. There's the beautiful roommate in the beautiful fleece. It's christmastime.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Good one, God

If there was ever any debate about whether or not God has an impecable sense of humor, take a magnifying glass to my life and there's your evidence.
Now, I just got out of a relationship. A good one, mind you, so while I'm still harboring feelings for him, they're not negative, and I'm not experiencing any aversion to men or anything like that. So there are two that I find relatively attractive.
Thinking about this, it's weird for me. Never have I been even relatively interested in two guys at the same time. Well I guess "interested in" is too specific a term. In fact, I'm not interested in either, would not expect anything from whatever you might call what this is, but lets call it a crush for now. If I want to feel like a twelve year old.
Any way, yesterday, on my way back from the gym, my roommate and I stopped at the dining hall so we could get milk for our cereal. I'm there in my hideous gym clothes and my frizzy hair and my face with makeup smeared around like paint. And of course, there he is. He who shall go unnamed for sake of anonymity. And what's more, he sees me. Of course he sees me. Because it's funny that he should. So he smiles and waves and I almost melt because I am completely undeserving of his notice, and my wonderful roommate looks at me and basically screams "awwwww that's so presh." Well, thanks Liz. He probably heard you. So good, happens to everyone, right?
Now the second of these two gentlemen has caused me a great deal of anxiety for varied reasons over the past month, and I have been holding something against him for a week now. A grudge of sorts, although I don't really think that I hold grudges. Not legitimate ones. But basically, I've been angry with him for about a week. We won't get into the why of the matter, but there it is.
And today, of course, God decides to play a joke on me. So I'm sitting at dinner, shoving my face with a very messy meal that I constructed myself, I'm a mess of marinara and cheese, and who should come up to me but this young man, who we'll call subject number two. I've mentioned him in a previous post or two. And does he say hello? No, instead he walks up behind me and holds my head in his hand and says "Aww that's so cute! You're so cute!" And kisses me on the top of the head.
First of all: What?
Next: Really?
And my roommate asks him to sit down. Thanks Liz. And now here I am, sitting across from him with marinara sauce practically running down my face while he talks about thanksgiving and what not, and I'm stuttering and stammering, unable to think of the right thing to say {which certainly is not unusual for me} and he's just sitting there, more chipper than usual. Wonderful.
So now, how can you be angry at someone after that? Wish I could be, but I just can't. I guess it's a lesson. When I figure out what kind of lesson, I'll let you know {I probably won't, don't get your hopes up}.

Also, my room smells like garbage.
Enjoy your evening.


Note: I hope you don't find me a blasphemer. I really think God does have a sense of humor, and I'm not bitter about these experiences but find them completely ridiculous, albeit somewhat unfortunate.

Places I Have Been

Oooh, I like this one. I love talking about my travels. Great fun.

Well, I was born in Wyoming and then moved to England, which you may know from my about me {I'm kind of proud of that. How many New Hampshirites can say that?} but I guess that may not really count because I don't really remember either of those places. Actually, I don't remember those places at all. So chronologically, the places I remember:

When I was 5 I flew into Georgia and saw my aunt, uncle, cousins, and Dad, who drove me to Florida to see my Grandparents, stepmom, and little sister. That was the first time I met any of them since I was 2 years old.

When I was 9 I went to visit my dad in the Azores, Portugal.
I was in Terceira, where my Dad was stationed, and I went to Santa Maria for a layover.
When I was 10 I went to New York City for the first time and had all sorts of fun adventures with my mom, stepdad, and older brother. Never will I share those pictures though. It's a tad bit too humiliating.

When I was 11, I guess, I went to North Carolina for the first time, to visit my mom's best friend.

When I was in 7th grade I went to North Carolina again, to visit my dad and my mom's best friend. I was all over that state during that visit. We drove to North Carolina so it was a long 21 hour trip and we drove through a TON of states. 

I think in 7th Grade was the first time we took a ski trip, and we went to Canada. I almost died. NBD.

In 8th Grade I took a wonderful field trip to Washington DC, tons of fun, lots of sights that I saw, my favorites being the Holocaust Museum and the changing of the guard at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier.

I'm pretty sure we went to Canada again in 8th Grade, which was much more fun this time.

In 9th Grade I went to Texas, to visit my dad once again. Went to the Alamo, the Riverwalk, Sea World {I got this close to a dolphin. very cool.}

In 10th grade we went on a trip to Sunapee or Sunday River {I can't remember which} and watched the Patriots finish off a great season with a terrible game. It hurts to think about it.

In 11th Grade I went to Honduras on a missions trip, to Siguatepeque.

It's sort of hard to see, but I think we flew into San Pedro Sula, and then drove to Siguatepeque, where we stayed.
That was one of the best trips of my life, I think. I really enjoyed it.

Then I went back to North Carolina in 11th grade to visit my Dad again, and went to the ocean.

And then in 12th grade my class went to Old Orchard Beach. Haven't traveled much since I started school, but I'm going to the Dominican Republic in March, and possibly New Jersey in January. We'll see.

Oh yeah, guys, I'M GOING TO THE DR! {whoop whoop!}

Feliz lunes!

Things I'm Grateful For

This is the second post in that series of posts I'm doing. So happy monday all, and since it's thanksgiving time you should all be thinking about the wonderful things you're thankful for.
I was supposed to do this last monday but I was in a pretty terrible mood then and I couldn't bring myself to count my blessings. I know, how terrible, but we're playing catch-up now so I may just do two of these posts tonight.
So, things I'm grateful for.


  1. My education here at Gordon. It's really a blessing and miracle that I'm here in the first place.
  2. My three jobs, all of which are neccessary to my livelihood as I have a spending problem.
  3. My familia, I love them all. 
  4. My mom, so grateful for her. She's talked me off a ledge many many times.
  5. My wonderful friends, all of whom I've gotten to see in the past week. {Well, not all of them, and I did see some that I didn't particularly want to see, but c'est la vie.}
  6. My pastor, who happens to care about me more than I thought, or at least is much more capable of fulfilling his pastorly roles than I thought he was.
  7. BED TIME. I think I thank God for this every night. "Dear God, thank you for this day, for everything you've given me, for this wonderful bed." Errnight.
  8. That I don't really lack anything. Nothing I need, anyway. That's worth being thankful for.
  9. For my God. I don't really thank Him for Him very often and I really should. I should also really thank Him more often for his son and that sacrifice he made. 
  10. For the challenges in my life. You can't grow if you're never challenged, and I think I've grown a lot in the past few years. Gotta love those obstacles.
  11. The support that I get from my family, even when I don't want it and don't ask for it. Sometimes I'm a little self centered I guess {oh gosh, I hope no one's reading this saying "you think?"}
  12. The roommate I've been blessed with. A challenge, yes, but a welcome one. Never could I have asked for a roommate more entertaining, more fun, or better fit to what I need. Definitely don't plan on trading her in. 
The list doesn't end there, but that's all the thought I can put into this list right now. Onto the next.

Sunday, November 27, 2011

It's that Time of Year Again

And if Elf didn't mark the advent of Christmas, my roommate snoring in her "ugly reindeer fleece" does.
Happy Holidays!

The Final Stretch

It begins tomorrow. Two weeks of classes, one week of finals, and then the semester is over. So I'm back from thanksgiving break.
Looking back at my outburst last monday, I admit it was a bit rash, based mostly off an anxious, vexing afternoon and one snide comment from a friend. It still stings a little, but I guess that's life.
So we begin the final stretch. I've been back for two hours and have started my homework, and am realizing that these next few weeks will be packed. Which I have to say is something I'm looking forward to. This semester has been pretty laid back. Not much work because my schedule was really very relaxed, none of my classes very demanding. Now, I have three books to read, two papers to write, two exams to prepare for, and one set of journal entries to compose within the next few weeks. Finally, I'm feeling like a student.
I actually enjoy doing work, being busy, not having a lot of free time. When I have free time, I waste it. I do very little with myself and am very unproductive, so the next few weeks should give me a feeling of accomplishment. Hopefully it will all go swimmingly.

Monday, November 21, 2011

0 for 2.

take a gun to my gut and pull the trigger, and let the discouragement kill me. The world seems all too keen on this. 
Oh wait, that was too negative. And I complain too much.
Why bother trying to be positive, trying to complain less, trying to be better, act better, say the right thing at the right time, do everything right, when every single time I fail?
That was too negative, too, right?
Because you can't say what you feel, you can only say what people want to hear. Otherwise, they turn it around and use it to hurt you. Great.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Idea!

For the little brother, 10 year old Benjamin, a new idea inspired by a monogram!
A capital B, on one side covered with Legos, on the other side decoupaged with Sheet music.
For the little sister, 14 year old Megan, a similar idea. A capital M decoupaged with famous photos (which I will print off of google images) in the image of polaroids, and on the opposite side decoupaged with sheet music. Hurray, two off my list (and one added to the list).
Ezekial, 10 year old nephew, Down's syndrome, in our custody, what to create for him.

Christmas Gift Crafting Time

Oh I have a myriad of ideas for nearly everyone on my list. But the dilemma is, what do I do for my step dad and my brothers? What does a ten year old boy like? What could I make him? Goodness, all my crafting experience is strictly feminine. But here we are, trying to find something to make, build, sew, paint that would be relevant to a ten year old boy. And a 23 year old boy? I mean, what could I possibly make for him? And then a 52 year old boy? Of all things challenging, this may be the greatest.

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Harry Potter and Biblical Imagery?

All right, call me a blasphemer {don't really, that would hurt my feelings} but as I've begun to watch these movies and read these books, its become evident to me that they're packed with all sorts of biblical imagery, and even prove applicable to our lives.
Back ground information? When I was in third or fourth grade, my entire elementary school went to see the first harry potter movie. Every Christian has probably heard the speel, we need to avoid witchcraft and we shouldn't expose ourselves to any such thing. It's demonic and it's evil. So for the past many years {since third or fourth grade} I've avoided Harry Potter like the plague. They played it on the bus on our way to DC and I read and listened to my music the entire time. But coming here, my roommate is a little more than obsessed, my friends are all enamored by Harry Potter and consequently Daniel Radcliffe, and to say the least, I was parading around the outside of the circle. So I gave in, thinking "how can I make this decision for myself unless I experience it for myself?" and what I found was that these movies, as previously stated, are not only not pagan worship, they are also filled with biblical imagery.
For instance, Harry has to die in order for Voldemort to be defeated. Sorry, spoiler's alert if you haven't experienced. Then, how about in the fifth movie when Harry says to Voldemort "you're the weak one." I mean, you could call that spiritual warfare and spiritual weapons. Which is, in itself, a very important lesson to take out of life, and this movie depicted it so clearly. Then the value of love, and how love is the only thing that saved Harry, the way that Harry is fulfillment of prophesy, the list goes on an on. I especially appreciate the Fawkes the Pheonix scene, how he's reborn from his own ashes.



Its fascinating really. I wonder if I could get my mom to have an open mind about this, because it would be nice to share this with her.
I'm only sad that I was exposed to it so late in life.

This evening I watched the fifth movie, The Order of the Pheonix, and while many people seem to dislike it, I absolutely loved it. Very good.

I wanted Harry to marry Hermione, Ron to marry Luna, and Neville to marry Ginny. That would've been ideal. Mostly because I think Harry and Hermione belong together. But that's that.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Tom Richter

He spoke today in chapel, and spoke once last year. Aside from being completely hilarious, he's also really honest, really truthful, and really insightful. If you have half an hour or so, here are a couple of videos that you should take a look at.



Tuesday, November 15, 2011

I'm feeling rather cerulian ce soir

And mostly cerulian because it's a very nice shade of blue. November is a rather sad month. It's that time when the foliage is gone and all that is left are the skeletons of trees. How sad. For me, however, I can't quite discern the reason for my sadness this evening. Loneliness is probably the perp. Ne'er the less, I'm lying in bed anticipating tomorrows omelets and listening to dear john {tswift}. I hope you all have a wonderful rest. Bon nuit!

People Who Inspire Me:

  1. My mom {a lot}
  2. Nate, my ex boyfriend and good friend
  3. Katie, a good {maybe best} friend from home, who despite many strenuous circumstances, still has a sunny outlook on her present and future life.
  4. Elise, another good friend from home who compromised friendships in the name of love, and ended up being right about it. She got her GED and is now working for the military. 20 years old, and a full-fledged adult. Very proud of her.
  5. Chris. He's been through more than a person should be through and he's still hanging on, although sometimes just by the skin of his teeth.
  6. Chuck, Chris' roommate. He's very optimistic and doesn't let little things get him down.
  7. Sybil Coleman, a social work professor here. She's been through a lot too, but she clings to hope and faith in the Lord, and with His grace performs her job better than anyone I've known.
  8. Sarah, my old RA. She just has this astounding faith that I really admire
  9. Kerstin, her roommate, same reason. Both are really great people who, despite being utterly gorgeous, are very down-to-earth and humble.
  10. Laura; she's struggled with a lot of the same things I have, but she doesn't let it control her life. She really gives me hope. 
  11. Dilon; he only has one hand but is one of the best baseball players the school has seen.
  12. Thia Howard: she's pretty much a walking miracle. After struggling with stage 4 melanoma, she's alive nine or ten years later to talk about it, is in full remission, and is doing remarkably well.
  13. Pastor Steve and his wife, who are both struggling with Lyme's disease, but are handling it with grace. 

Sorry to go all Tumblr on you, but...

I stumbled upon this lists of lists to make, and I think I might do one every day or ever week. Actually, every day sounds good. Mondays. {I'm counting today as monday parce-que I have not been to sleep yet.}


Here's the list:



List as many as you can:
  1. People who have influenced or inspired you
  2. Things you are grateful for
  3. Places you have been
  4. Places you want to go
  5. Books you’ve read
  6. Your favorite things – what brings you joy?
  7. Good things that happened this week
  8. The best things that happened in the last year
  9. The best days of your life.
  10. The songs for the soundtrack of your life
  11. Acts of kindness you’ve committed
  12. Things you want your children to know about you
  13. Reasons why you love your significant other
  14. The high points for your autobiography
  15. People who love you
  16. The cutest things your kids ever said
  17. Everything you would do if money were no object
  18. Favorite gifts you’ve ever received
  19. Favorite gifts you’ve ever given
  20. Occupations that you have ever wanted to have (including when you were a child)
  21. The best advice you’ve gotten.
  22. The worst advice you’ve gotten.
  23. Things you’re procrastinating
  24. Ways you calm yourself down when you’re angry.
  25. The best ideas you’ve ever had
  26. The best projects or organizations you’ve ever been involved with
  27. The ways you have grown since your early 20’s
  28. The most beautiful things you’ve ever seen
  29. The greatest lessons you have learned
  30. Life’s lessons that you learned the hard way
  31. Things that have made you laugh until you cried
  32. Qualities you most admire in others
  33. Qualities others most admire in you
  34. The elements of an ideal year
  35. All the compliments you’ve ever gotten
  36. Foods that you have eaten that are so good that others could hear you enjoying them
  37. The times you have asserted yourself
  38. Things that inspire and energize you
  39. The places where you feel completely comfortable to be yourself
  40. The most important turning points in your life
  41. Times when you looked and felt your absolute best
  42. The things you’re good at
  43. What you would do with the power of invisibility
  44. Things you want to teach your children
  45. Things you still want to do in life
  46. Bits of trivia that most people don’t know about you
  47. The things you love about your body
  48. Accomplishments you are most proud of
  49. The things you love about your home
  50. Who (living or dead) you would invite to your dream dinner party
I'll post my first response in another post. Enjoy!

Monday, November 14, 2011

I just woke up from one of the most disturbing nightmares I've ever experienced. Too messed up to be posted. The last time I looked at the clock it was 10:23, and it is now12:01. It feels as though it should be two or three in the morning, but instead I wake up just over an hour after I fall asleep. And now I'm afraid to go back to sleep. So instead I'm lying here, watching A Knight's Tale {understood to be my bedtime movie} and feeling a little nauseous.
Last night I had a pretty wild dream too, but in an entirely different way.
At the beginning of the dream I was walking through a cake shop in New York City and glancing around at all the wedding cakes on display. Some were huge four of five tiered cakes, but there was a selection of small ones, and as I looked at those cakes, I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the display glass. I was decked out in the wedding gown of my dreams and looked like a bride. I recognized that as a sign and bolted out of there, to return to New Hampshire {or New York} and convince my ex to marry me, right then. He agreed without hesitation and together we return to New York City and picked out a small cake and then went to city hall to be married. After presumably doing so, we emerged from the building, he in a tux, and I in my gown, and there was rice flying and we both smiled intensely. Then, fore some reason, there was a photobooth, and we decided to get pictures done. So we climb into the booth and take picture after picture. Then, I go to kiss him, and our lips lock and it's the most incredible kiss of my whole life. I never wanted to let go. I then tell him that I want to do poses {i.e., the proposal, etc.} to which he agrees, and then I tell him that these would be like our save-the-dates, only not the save-the-dates, but the "hey-we-got-married" cards. And then, while I'm sitting there, I wonder if perhaps I'd been too hasty. Perhaps I settled. Perhaps I just got lonely and wanted someone to be with and I knew he wouldn't say no so I chose him, but now if prince charming comes along, I'll be married, because I can't get a divorce. So in the midst of my panic, I wake up, and it's 9:15am, and it's time to get ready for church.
I don't really know what to do with that. All the other dreams that I've had where we get engaged or married, there's no joy, and lots of regret. I'm just not sure. Blech and then I have this terrible nightmare. Goodness.
Well I wish you all sweet dreams. May you all be married to Ben Affleck and Brad Pitt, or what have you. For me, Orlando Bloom, Heath Ledger, or Hugh Grant (don't ask why) would be ideal. I'm going to try to dream about them this time around.
Regardless of what people say, he's my soul mate. Age difference, aside.
His sense of humor and accent are both very attractive.
Heath Ledger, may he rest in peace. He never had the opportunity to know me.


British men have weird names.
Up for class in six and a half hours.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Home Again

I made it back to the (603) and spent last night with my wonderful family (menos Zeke, who was asleep) watching this terribly sad movie and harassing the wonderful dog. Couldn't have been better. Then last night I got to craft (!) and this afternoon I'm going to a football game. Oh the joys of New Hampshire. Sleeping in my own bed was like sleeping in a pile of cloud.
{Disclaimer: I'm not trying to rub your face in the joys of my homelife; it's really just the joy of being home after a few weeks.}
I had lunch with my friend and his twin brother {twinsies!} and he seems to be doing a little better. Yes, he was harassing me and picking on me like no tomorrow, which always means good things in his language. Also, good news, his brother thought I was a senior in college, which almost trumps all those "Oh, I thought you were 13" comments that have been made over the past couple of years. Hurrah, I'm beginning to look my age! Or he's just delusional. Either way, I'm taking it as a compliment.
So here's to a good weekend, I hope you all have one!
<3

Thursday, November 10, 2011

On the mental health continuum, here's me.

Stable------------------------Panicky-------------------Mental Breakdown--------//---Me.


I'm on life-altering information overload. Too much. Too much this week. There must be smoking pouring from my facial cavities, because my mind is fried. Thinking clearly is a thing of the past. Enjoying a class, a thing of the past. Stability? You know it. A thing of the past. And I'm being told that I need to learn to handle stress better, and let me tell you: SO FRIGGIN' TRUE. When I'm all grown up and am a social worker, I'll go to intense counseling on a weekly basis and take up crafting to the extreme for cathartic measures. Right now, though, I'm going home, and I'll be away from this place, these people, and cell service until sunday evening. For two days, I'm free. Praise the Lord.

In the mean time, please please please continue praying. My friend is standing at the edge of the precipice, playing with the defined line that is life, another friends grandmother is right there, as well, and things aren't looking up, and my own sanity is at risk for other reasons that shall go undiscussed on a public forum. So yes, prayer.

I'll leave you with some soothing music that I've found greatly appeasing: Vous Êtes mon Coeur by Güngor, I find completely beautiful. I love french, I love this style of music, I love the harmonizing going on here. Basically, wonderful. You are my heart.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Positive Thoughts {le neuf de Novembre, 2011}

Its hard to do this today, as I'm sitting here feeling unbearably overwhelmed, so I'm going to find things that dull that a little bit.
First of all, my friend is doing better this week than he says he was last week, and I'm having lunch with him friday. So that's a solid.
I get to go home on friday, where I'll be out of service for three days, and thus out of the line of fire.
Tomorrow I have a College Bound dinner at my intern's apartment, which I really think will be a lot of fun.  I love the people that I tutor with, and I think I'm on my way to forming some decent relationships.
I went on a Panera date with ms. liz {my roommate} which was really awesome.
I was able to find two books at the library that I think will be good for Mayli.
I discovered the prayer room and went there again today.
It was really nice out today, almost 60 degrees.
Three weeks until thanksgiving break.
My good friend Elise is coming back to the 603 on Sunday night for two weeks, so I'll be able to see her while she's home. It's awesome! I haven't seen her since January, so I'm really looking forward to that.
I only have one class tomorrow and then I have college bound.
Friday is omelet day.

I Will Praise You In This Storm



Praise You In This Storm
I was sure by now
God You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

[Chorus:]
And I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to you
And you raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You

But as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

[Chorus]

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth

[Chorus x2] 

{Psalm 121}
1 I lift up my eyes to the mountains— 
where does my help come from? 
2 My help comes from the LORD, 
the Maker of heaven and earth.
3 He will not let your foot slip— 
he who watches over you will not slumber; 
4 indeed, he who watches over Israel 
will neither slumber nor sleep.
5 The LORD watches over you— 
the LORD is your shade at your right hand; 
6 the sun will not harm you by day, 
nor the moon by night.
7 The LORD will keep you from all harm— 
he will watch over your life; 
8 the LORD will watch over your coming and going 
both now and forevermore.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Kill me, heal me, on and on

What to do when you have a friend going through intense depression? Well, that's something I'm asking myself right now. How to help, how to not say the wrong thing, how to get across that you love them and want them to be there. It's hard. Pray for them is my only (and probably best) option right now, and I would ask that you pray for them too. Thanks.

Monday, November 7, 2011

Today Was Like Love

I woke up this morning exhausted, struggled through two classes and a chapel, and as I was falling asleep during naptime around 11:30, I thought to myself, If I'm not sure if I'm okay, does that mean I'm not okay?
Last semester I struggled a lot with depression, and the year before that. Nothing too serious, but enough to confine me to my room most of the time and cry myself to sleep regularly. I had some solid support, my ex boyfriend was so great about it and did his best to help me, and I had a couple of good friends who were there for me to lean on, but it was a really difficult time. Sometimes I would be sitting in chapel and wonder what it would be like to jump off the balcony, or be standing on a bridge and wonder how effective it would be to jump. I don't know if I'd have done anything, but my mom's voice was always going through my head from a time in tenth grade that I was dealing with something similar, telling me "If anything happened to you, I'd have no reason to live."
Lately, things have been hard. No where near as hard as they were last semester, but lonely and sad, and I just don't want things to get to that point again.
I woke up at one and got ready for class, and then afterward I wandered around campus for a while, first going to the dock and realizing that someone was already there, and then scoping out Frost to see if I could locate the prayer room, to no avail at first. So I texted Chuck and then he, being the wonderful guy that he is, excused himself from class to call me and tell me where it was. As if he knew I needed it today. 
So I walk into this room, and the first thing I do is start to cry, because it's all I can do. This room is {first of all} so cozy. It's warm with the perfect lighting and just the right size. And then the walls are covered with drawn pictures and quotes written in crayon everywhere. Everyone talking to God. It was such a beautiful experience, sitting in this room that so many other people had contributed to. 
It seems right that tomorrow is the day of prayer. 
And in honor of the day of prayer, I give you a list of some of my favorite praise and worship songs.

Beautiful Things - {Gungor}
The Stand - {Hillsong}
Oceans from the Rain {Seventh Day Slumber}
Forever Reign {Hillsong}
In Christ Alone {Owl City}
Amazing Because It Is {The Almost}
Praise You In This Storm {Casting Crowns}
How He Loves {David Crowder Band}
Indescribable {Chris Tomlin}
Came To My Rescue {Hillsong}
What Faith Can Do {Kutless}

Also, if any of you, my readers, ever need prayer, feel free to shoot me an email

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Positive Thoughts {le cinq de novembre, 2011}

Positive thinking...positive thinking.
I'm babysitting right now, and it's 10:30. I've been here since six and I'm not sure when these parents are returning. So I'm getting paid at least $40 dollars. Very nice.
I got to talk to my very best friend tonight, which I haven't done in such a long time. I miss her.
I get to go home on friday for the weekend and be with my family, so I'm super pumped.
My ex boyfriend is getting over me which is good for him even though it kind of hurts for me, but it's good for him.
It's november which is one of my favorite months of the year, and it's almost thanksgiving, which is so exciting.
Four weeks until christmas break.
Tomorrow I get to gain an hour of sleep because we're turning the clocks back and instead of getting up at 9, I can get up at 10.
I don't have very much homework to do this weekend.
Tomorrow night, my roommate and I are going to a service in memory of the 73rd anniversary of Kristellnacht, which I'm really looking forward to.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

The Fight



Lyrics to The Fight :
Would you go to war for me, baby
Would you cry for the weak
And die for the peace of men
Oh how can we know
You and I both know
So let's make this boatload of excuses burn and sing


One day it all comes down to this
You can sink or swim
You can handle this
One day it all comes down
One day we all go down


I'll take my heart back
And set the people free
I'll leave the dead to die
And take what's coming with me


Step back for all the world to see
Your life means all the world to me
I'll take your pain and suffering
I'm such a sucker sometimes
Sometimes we don't know
So plug up those bullet holes
Oh you feel so close, don't let go until I say


One day we'll drink to this and say
Remember when we died
We went out in flames


I'll take my heart back
And set the people free
And take what's coming with me


Step back for all the world to see
Your life means all the world to me
I'll take your pain and suffering
I'm such a sucker sometimes
Sometimes we don't know
So plug up those bullet holes
Oh you feel so close, don't let go until I say


One day we'll drink to this and say
Remember when we died
We went out in flames


I'll take my heart back
And set the people free
There will be blood in the streets


I first heard this song when I was a senior in high school and fell in love. It's been stuck in my head all day. The imagery behind the lyric:
I'll take my heart back and set the people free, there will be blood in the streets
Its an intense mental image. Turn on a strobe light and do a little head thrashing to this song. It's a good one. Also, look up the Classic Crime. They're prime.

Something to Share


Just to put things into perspective.

Positive Thoughts {le 3 de novembre, 2011}

I've decided to begin a positive thoughts log.
Today, although not an excellent day, not one that surpassed expectations, did have good aspects, as every day "may not be good, but there is something good in every day."
Call me loco, but I know it's true, and I need to beat the negativity out of me.
So today.
I was able to play with babies all morning, very cute babies. One extraordinarily happy baby named Noah, who wouldn't stop smiling. Presh.
I got paid today, which is wonderful.
I got dunk's today, and had a glorious lunch of a turkey, cheddar, and bacon flat.
I was let out of spanish early today, by half an hour {win!}
I played sardines in college bound, which was fun.
I was able to carry a conversation with a couple of the other tutors today, which implies progress.
I spoke with Nate today and it didn't hurt all that much.
I ate dinner with Liz and had a good time.
I look halfway decent.
Positive thoughts for aujhord'hui.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Be positive...be positive.

First things first: this photo does not belong to me, I stumbled upon it.
Next.
The little piece of paper on the window says that "every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day." SO TRUE. And I think this is something we need to focus on. For instance. Today, I got five and a half hours of sleep, woke up to endure two miserable classes, during the second of which a girl snapped at me for providing accurate information about a class that I will not be taking next semester, went to chapel and listened to people make rude remarks and illogical and somewhat arrogant propositions, went back to my room for a while then went to register for classes during which I found out that I will need to spend close to two grand to take a may term class, then went to power and prestige and poverty and watched that SAME GIRL mutter to herself and roll her eyes at every comment all through class. After all this, I was given a two word response by a certain fella, read for an hour and a half a book about inequality, ate a less-than-pleasant dinner, came back to my room and spent more than three hours doing spanish homework, and now am ready to kill myself. HOWEVER, i'm going to focus on the fact that I have a bag full of nerds to eat, a bed to sleep in, a job to earn money from tomorrow, it's almost friday, i'm hanging out with said certain fella on friday, more money on saturday, tea party saturday, and as for today, it was nice out. Joy joy joy.
Those last couple of joys may have implied a feeling less joyful than what I have been aiming for. Eh, not such a joyful day, I suppose. But I'm not feeling so much despair today, just exhaustion, so I'll be fine.
On another note, I was listening to my iTunes whilst writing a spanish essay and wanted to share this song with you. The first time I heard it I was listening to my iPod at work a few weeks before I broke up with Nate and I just broke down into a big mess of tears and heartbreak and confusion, but now I listen to it, and it's just a really pretty, really moving song.

I called you up, you were in bed, could barely make out the words that you said
But you wanted to see me instead, so I got dressed
So I stepped out into the snow, and walked for a mile or so
Felt the rush of blood come from the cold, within my chest

Well, you finally came to the door, and we talked for an hour or more
Until I asked if you would stay up until four, and you said that's fine
But you said "theres something I have to say, and I can just because I am so afraid"
And so I held you as you started to shake, that night

Oh, my dear, ill wait for you
Grace tonight will pull us through
Until the tears have left your eyes
Until the fear can sleep at night
Until the demons that you're scared of
Disappear inside
Until the scale begins to crack
And this weight falls from your back
Oh, my dear, ill keep you in my arms tonight

You slowly lifted your head from your hands
You said "I just don't think you'll understand
You'll never look at me that way again
If you knew what I dida"

And so your tears fell and melted the snow
You told me secrets nobody had known
But I never loved you more, even though
Now I know what you did

Oh, my dear, ill wait for you
Grace tonight will pull us through
Oh, my dear, ill wait for you
Grace tonight will pull us through
Until the tears have left your eyes
Until the fear can sleep at night
Until the demons that you're scared of
Disappear inside
Until the scale begins to crack
And this weight falls from your back
Oh, my dear, ill keep you in my arms tonight

Until the tears have left your eyes
Until the fear can sleep at night
Until the demons that you're scared of
Disappear inside
Until the scale begins to crack
And this weight falls from your back
Oh, my dear, ill keep you in my arms tonight
I'll keep you in my arms tonight

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Prime Quotes of the Evening

"Just admit it: i'm the worst toymaker in the world. I'm a cotton-headed ninnymuggins."
"Not now arctic puffin."
"But the children Love the books!"
{Pennies from Heaven}
"You did it! Congratulation on having the world's best cup of coffee! Good job, guys!"

"I'm here with my dad and we never met and he wants me to sing him a song... and I was adopted, and you didn't know i was born, but I'm here now, i've found you daddy, and guess what? I love you, I love you, I love YOUUUU!"
"I just like to smile, smiling's my favorite!"
"SAAAANTAAAAAAAA! I know him! I know him!"
"It's just nice to meet another human who shares my affinity for elf-culture."
"The best way to spread christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear."


"You smell like beef and cheese."
"You sit on a throne of lies."
"My finger has a heartbeat."


"..and then I traveled the seven levels of the candy cane forest, through the sea of swirly, twirly gumdrops, and then I passed through the Lincoln Tunnel."
"We elves try to stick to the four main food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corns, and syrup."


"...and then, to finish, we'll snuggle."
"There's a horrible noise coming from the evil box underneath the window.. It's going shhhhhhahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh."
"Ow! Son of a nutcracker!"

"Things worked out pretty good. They gave me a restraining order."
"I feel really warm when I'm around you and um...my tongue swells up. So... do you wanna eat food?...You know, the code."
"Francisco! Franciscoooo. Francisco. Franciiiisco."
"Buddy the elf, what's your favorite color?"
"Oh! It's very sucky! It's very sucky!"


"I'm sorry I ruined your lives and crammed 11 cookies into the vcr."

Christmastime is here

Liz and I traveled to target this evening for the discounted halloween candy, and were greeted by the lights and colors of Christmastime!
And more importantly, the excitement of Hanukkah!




This is liz enjoying the beautiful display of holiday wrapping paper. It was a touching moment for all the onlookers.

This is a portrait of our dearly valued hanukkah mugs which we very much intend to enjoy whilst elfing it up this evening.
Liz is enjoying the Hanukkah display. There are many things we need to purchase before converting to Judaism and getting into the full swing of Hanukkah season.












In this photo you'll see Liz thoroughly enjoying the 
music video for Dominic the Italian Christmas Donkey.
Liz is a bit eccentric and has a thing for animals making
faces that are similar to those she makes and thus
found this music video VERY entertaining.
I sat there watching her laugh herself to tears
Over this music video.

Over all, a fairly entertaining evening.